|LIFE'S A BEACH...|
Roughing it SEASIDE just isn't for me,
I like boardwalks and bathrooms, and 'BRELLIES, you see.
Sand up the WA-ZOO, peeing into the WAVES,
|BRELLY DRINKS FOR ME!|
Roughing it seaside is just NOT my thing!
Loungers and life guards, and sweet slushy DRINKS,
Served where I'm SWEATING? THAT'S heaven, me thinks!
Choice of swimming or sailing, or better still - NYET,
No need whatsoever to actually get WET!
Sunbeds a-plenty - a SLAVE to the SUN,
BIKINIS are SEXY and TAN LINES are FUN!
|TAN LINES ARE FUN!|
A menu nearby stuffed with exotic TREATS.
Is she SPOILED, you query - expectations too HIGH?
OOPS, it's time for more SUNSCREEN - Be a dear - RE-APPLY?
Beach YOGA at three, PARA-SAILING at four,
Then SIESTA, of course - sun worship's a CHORE!
A little TIENDA for RAGMAGS and SHADES,
A room with clean sheets, A/C - and yes - MAIDS!
BELIEVE what you will and SAY what you might,
This 'BEACH' thinks in TAN - not in STARK black and WHITE!
|THIS BEACH THINKS IN TANS|
WANT MORE? I'MKAR'N IS FULL OF IT....
- MAN-OPAUSE: MEN GET BITCHY TOO!
- IF I DON'T BELIEVE IN HEAVEN - WILL I GO STRAIGHT ...TO HELL??
- CIRCUMCISION: TAKING A LITTLE OFF THE TOP!
- DIETS MAKE US FATTER...
- LEFT-HANDEDNESS - THE VERY REAL DANGERS OF BEING '...
- THE 'TRAVIS'-TY THAT IS JODI ARIAS..
- AT THE CORNER OF FOOL'S PARADISE - AND IGNORANCE I...
- DADDY - PLEASE SPANK ME...