September 8, 2013

THREE HOTS & A COT: COMMITTING CRIMES TO GET INTO PRISON..

LOCK ME UP! PLEASE!

PRISON INMATES ARE ENTITLED TO HEALTH CARE BENEFITS AND MEDICAL PROCEDURES THAT THE AVERAGE LAW-ABIDING CITIZEN CANNOT AFFORD!

Medical. Dental. Psychological counseling. Rehabilitation. Hormone Therapy. Plastic Surgery. House, um, CELL calls. All available at your fingertips. All available free of charge. And, all available under one roof.

Now, how TEMPTING is that?

The ECONOMY is struggling, HEALTH CARE is in a mess, JOBS and PRIDE are things of the past, and HOPE is vanishing faster than LIFE SAVINGS. On the other side of the FENCE, the PRISON SYSTEM offers three SQUARES a day, a ROOF over the head, and all the FREE MEDICAL you can squeeze into your visit. No wonder it's looking better and better to some forward thinking entrepreneurs!

Here are a few jaw-dropping examples of a prison system gone wild!

  • A man robbed a bank for ONE DOLLAR in order to be SENT TO PRISON for a variety of ailments - a GROWTH IN HIS CHEST being the deciding factor. He had lost his health benefits when he lost his job and WASN'T WILLING TO LOSE HIS LIFE AS WELL!
  • A homeless man SLASHED THE TIRES of hundreds of vehicles HOPING TO GET CAUGHT and be sent to prison. He desperately needed treatment of painful chronic bleeding hemorrhoids that had become intolerable.
  • A man who was FORCED TO STEAL a television for three days in a row before he was FINALLY ARRESTED and sent to prison. Whilst incarcerated, he was able to receive the life-saving dialysis that he was DENIED AS A FREE MAN.
  • The elderly couple who ROBBED A BANK and then sat in a cheap hotel with some burgers from McD's, WAITING TO BE ARRESTED. Every cent of the money was accounted for. She had cancer and would have died without proper medical attention that they were DENIED IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

Need PLASTIC SURGERY? That's available as well! BUUT... only to certain privileged souls!
Here's a few examples of who is - and who is NOT - entitled!
  • Tracie Andrews SLICED her boyfriends throat and STABBED him thirty-seven times. She is about to be RELEASED after only FIFTEEN YEARS. She has been given a $5,000.00 CHIN RE-ALIGNMENT as a going away present.  
         The prison refuses to comment.
  • A man SHOOTS a woman to DEATH and then shoots himself in the head - and lives. While hospitalized, his jaw is repaired ONLY TO THE POINT OF FUNCTIONALITY. But, after being sent to PRISON for MURDER, he was given a SERIES OF OPERATIONS to make it "LOOK MORE NATURAL." 
          Again, no comment from the prison.
  • An ARTIST was ATTACKED in her OWN HOME, and amongst other HORRIFIC INJURIES - FOUR OF HER FINGERS WERE CUT OFF.  She needed an operation to fit custom-made orthotic fingers in order for her to RESUME HER ABILITY TO EARN A LIVING. And to resume her LIFE! She is INELIGIBLE unless she can raise the $15,000.00 herself.
         (Perhaps she should think about cutting off someone else's fingers so she can receive the    treatment she so desperately needs?)
  • The LEADER of one of the world's most VIOLENT DRUG GANGS had a small scar surgically removed from his lip. The prison DEFENDED THEIR ACTIONS by saying that it was causing the poor man LOW SELF-ESTEEM! He also had a CELL PHONE and a BUDGIE in his cell.
          No comment...
  • TRANSGENDERED PRISONERS receive TAX-PAYER FUNDED hormone injections and psychological counseling. They continue to fight to have the LAWS CHANGED so that actual SEX CHANGE OPERATIONS can be PERFORMED IN PRISON as well! They are succeeding. They are performing them as we speak!
  • DENTAL CHECK UPS, CLEANINGS, FILLINGS, and ANY OTHER necessary repairs are scheduled like clockwork - and the TAX PAYER picks up the tab. There has even been some cases of TEETH WHITENING for departing prisoners - to help them RE-INTEGRATE into society!
          No comment from the prisons...
OF COURSE NOT! They're busy providing all the COMFORTS OF, er...HOME?

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